I Wish Squirrels Would Wear Baseball caps
We would live in a much kinder world if all rodents wore baseball caps. We
would think they were sweet little kids, instead of lecherous little disease
buckets. They would probably learn to dance, do arithmetic, speak in a
cartoonish manner, if they wore a warm little cap.
If you saw a little rat run across the floor wearing a small baseball cap, would
you really scream and jump on a chair.
I doubt it.
Guess Who’s Been Sober for 50 Days!
Me!
And no this isn’t me, when I was a kid. I was much cuter.
Guess who has been sober 50 days today (September 10, 2011) by next Friday,
September 16, 2011 and win a bag of Skittles, Tropical Flavor.
I will reveal the Answer this Friday at 5pm.
If there is no winner, I will eat the bag of Skittles.
Nyack’s*~Bi~*Annual Mayoral Race
It’s that odd year again, when the Village of Nyack votes for some poor soul to
run our little town into the river. This year we have a Man vs. Woman race.
Yay, battle of the sexes time. I feel like its the seventies all over again
Anyway, the two candidates are Richy Kavesh and Jennifer Laird White.
Here are some pictures from their facebook accounts:
Candidate #1
Candidate #2
Ugg, bozos.
I can tell you right now, I am not voting for either of them.
I am going to write-in my own candidate.
On the bottom of the voting page I am going to scribble;
RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH GUY, Jimmy McMillan.
You know him, the African-American dude with the black gloves and
the Kernel Sanders goatee.
- Better Candidate
If he is not gearing up to take Obama’s job already, he may take Mayor of Nyack
instead of Mayor of New York City (candidate 2009). We have 5 Nyacks just like
New York City has 5 boroughs. We are right on Hudson River, just like the New
York. And we have just as many peoples hand in the cookie jar as NYC too!
Its a perfect fit.
Good Morning Sunshine
Hey Lover,
Remember me? It was the 60′s, I slipped a Quaalude in your drink.
You woke up the next morning in a shipyard in Brooklyn, remember?
I watched you from behind a garbage pail look for your purse, but alas,
I had the purse slung over me shoulder. I got a do nut and a coffee with
the money in it, honey. Oh, you were the sweetest.
Rosie goes Oprah Winfrey Network in 40 Days
I like Rosie O’Donnell, sometimes.
I mean she lives in Rockland Co., New York to start.
She is ridiculously famous for pissing people off, having zero shame, and being a lesbian.
And on top of all that, she has been a household name for 15 years.
She is super famous, does whatever she wants, and somehow manages to be relevant.
Unfortunately the down side to Rosie O’Donnell is she does and says really stupid things.
Like telling the press she wanted to eat M&Ms and popcorn inside a federal court room while
gawking at Martha Stewart’s Insider Trading Scandal. BTW, I could only imagine how much
that pissed Martha off! I wonder how many times the sound of Rosie eating it up haunted her
in Jail.
Then there was that time she fought with Magnum PI …
T. Mags VS Roe D. Youtube -Click Here
Oy Vey Rosie, sorry, but nobody gets over on Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV,
I don’t care if you are big ole Rosie O’D herself.
When Rosie isn’t on her blog, or on Insider Tonight, she is writing books.
Rosie should stick to what she knows; being bossy, adopting kids, and Broadway.
Daytime Television also works very well for Miss O’Donnell. I have to admit, she
is REALLY good at pissing people off, like at a professional level.
So, being a person who has pissed off a person or two, I can appreciate what
she does for a living.
That doesn’t mean I am a lesbian, a dumb 9-11 conspiracy theorist, or ever
going to watching ‘StakeOut 2′ or ‘A League of their Own’ EVER AGAIN.
And I am Not Watching This Either!
But I will watch Rosie attempt to take the reigns over at OWN in Oct 2011.
I believe she will do a nice to decent job of creating a show without all the extra
twatage of ‘The View’.
ON A SIDE NOTE -
I am sorry, but their is no way I can buy Whoppi Goldberg as a woman on ‘The View’. It’s just not believable. I think they hired a homeless man to impersonate Whoppi Goldberg. Barbara it’s time to pack it up, or at least stop hiring transvestites.
BACK TO ROSIE
Honestly, Rosie works best when nobody else is allowed to talk. Unless its Oprah,
but even that can’t last more than a few minutes, or episodes.
Well, it should make for really good television for a few years.
Think ‘The Ellen Show’ with a Liberace K-Mart twist. Or Ellen in sweatpants.
I’m not sure which way Rosie is going yet.
Best of Luck Rosie, make Nyack proud!! 
PS
**If I can make one request, please get in a fight with Nate Berkus
of ‘The Nate Show”. He is so freaking boring. He seems like he is a
terrible person. How many times can you put a folding table in a
studio and be called a ‘lifesaver’.
Unwatchable. You can insult him, save his career, and have
Oprah thank you for it later.
If you can’t get Nate to fight with you, I know Charlie Sheen is available.
Would LOVE to see you two go.
I think and, by think, I mean I’m 95 percent positive, you can take him.
I would love to see you get his tail. OMG.
PPS
And if you go toe to toe with Oprah I will personally volunteer at
Soup Angels Nyack Kitchen, feeding the homeless for one month straight.
Its total given that this will happen, its just a matter of when, where, and how.
I predict it will happen with in the first 8 months.
Bluebell Field’s Baby Romp
This kid got it made in the shade.
I wish I knew what country this was, cause I would probably
try to move there for a while.